2012-12-14: 1 Week Countdown to the 2012 Winter Solstice (12/21/12) - Embracing your Authentic Self; What is a Way-Shower?
This comes a day late I know. Only 6 days to go! There is much to share in this last week. I plan to post several times between now and the 21st if you’d like to check back. In this coming week we will be talking about dreams and psychic attack, as many are currently being impacted by one or both, and this upsurge is a direct result of the increasing vibration. Before diving into our way-shower topic today, I’d like to first address something we’re all facing, namely the opportunity to ride the tide of this impending ever-increasing vibration to discover our authentic selves. While a critical step for any way-shower, it’s a topic that affects many of us.
We are born into this world as our authentic self, with all the individual beauty and gifts that make us unique and special, but many of us find we incarnate into a family or society that doesn’t accept us for who we are. Rather than love and cherish us for who we are, those in our sphere withhold their love until we become different, something they feel is acceptable and will make them look acceptable to the world. They may even ridicule us for being who we naturally are. Their desire to look acceptable to the world arose in them because they too struggled with being accepted as their authentic self when they were born into the world. Now in their adult life they feel compelled to present a picture, albeit false, to the outside world of who they are and what they are about, that they might continue to be accepted. As infants, we fall prey to this game (so desperate are we to feel loved) and become a prisoner in this artificial world of pretending. It
is a vicious cycle. And it is time to break it.
As we grow into adulthood, we lose less and less of our sense of self and become a robot designed to placate our parents and society at large. We create an image of ourselves that makes everyone else happy such that they will accept us and (we hope) love us. Some of us will go to great extremes to achieve this love, becoming even LESS of ourselves throughout our lifetime trying to win that love that we so desperately craved as an infant. Eventually we are forced to realize that the love will never come. No matter we do, who we become, we will never please those handful of people we’ve tried to please over the years; we will NEVER win their love, the reason being because they don’t love themselves. Rather than love themselves, they tried to turn us into something that would make them feel lovable and right in the world, and of course this never works, because true happiness can only come from within. No one outside us can make us happy. And so we realize finally that the love will never come…and that we have sacrificed our true authentic self, our deepest joy, for nothing… It is a day of rude and painful awakening. And we are here now, at the threshold of a vibration that supports our authentic selves, that wants and encourages us to be who we were always meant to be. The world needs you for who you are, not for who you are pretending to be.
This is a time for self-love. Don’t be hard on yourself for having fallen prey to the game. We are loveful beings and so seek out love. It is no surprise that in our innocence as infants we wouldn’t “learn” to do whatever it takes to attain that love. It’s the lesson itself that was wrong, not that we tried to learn it. Likely over the years you have hidden your authentic self far beneath the surface, keeping a protective shield around yourself such that no one might discover who you really are. We walk through life pretending… We pretend we’re happy. We pretend we’re something we’re not. We live a pretend life, devoid of our true joy, just to be accepted. The risk of “not” being accepted is great. As infants it would’ve been impossible to even consider. We so desperately depended on those around us to care for us. We HAD to be what they wanted so they would love us and not abandon us. And we remember the emotional (perhaps even physical) pain inflicted on us as children when we tried to step outside the box and own who we really are. That memory remains now in adulthood. The mere thought of letting down our guard and revealing our true selves to the world can feel as frightening now as it did when we were children. I will not pretend the journey is easy; it requires strength and the utmost desire to really want to find your inner joy and to live the life you were meant to live. For way-showers, you may additionally be feeling compelled to pursue your “mission” even not knowing what that is yet, and this drive is what is causing you to so seriously consider letting down your guard at last to reveal yourself to the world and be who you really are and who you are meant to be.
What I can offer as guidance is this. First, the ever-increasing vibration is supporting your journey. The mass awakening to this higher level of consciousness is causing millions to be feeling what you are feeling now, even if they are too scared to ever go forward and act on it. To be your authentic self in an environment devoid of compassionate love will not be a nurturing exercise. If you attempt to lower your guard in such an environment, you will find out quickly whether or not in fact it is a loveful environment. This in itself if great information, because if you weren’t sure before if you were really surrounded by love, you will be unequivocally certain now. You will benefit more on your journey and embrace your authentic self more quickly, however, if you surround yourself with love, people who truly have the capacity to accept you for exactly who you are and who you are becoming. You can let your guard down completely, reveal who you really are and
what you’re about and what your dreams are, and you will be met with support, encouragement – and NO ridicule and NO boundaries or restrictions being placed on you for the sake of someone else. And so my guidance to you is… go where the love is. Follow the love… You will know when you’ve found it. Those around us who are not capable of emitting this kind of love are doing the best they can; they have been scared too. Perhaps if they saw you moving towards love and saw that it could be done, they might muster the strength to follow the love too and ultimately find their true happiness, even if it’s without you. You do them no service by helping them live their own pretend life. Showing them, by your own example, that “living a life of authenticity” can be done… is one of the many paths of the way-shower…
What is a way-shower? A way-shower is a soul that incarnates with deliberate intent into a family, culture, society, world
with a goal of showing a different way of being, first by example, but also by leading and teaching. That teaching can occur in many different ways including speaking, writing, creative art expression such as music or photography - any approach that a soul chooses; there are no right or wrong ways. Are you resonating?
One of the most common feelings of a way-shower, even early in life, is that you feel you don’t belong. I remember feeling this way as a child. For years I thought I was adopted because I didn’t fit in. I didn’t think like those around me; I didn’t feel like those around me. I wasn’t understood. I remember pointing to a house as a child and insisting that I had been in that house as an older woman. I was told NO and was encouraged to stop discussing it. To this day, whenever I drive by that house, I remember the lay-out of the house and sitting at the kitchen table. I have never been in that house in “this” lifetime. I used to talk to trees and plants and was ridiculed to no end about how stupid this was. It would be decades before I realized that“they” couldn’t hear the trees and plants talk back, and they couldn’t see or hear the fairies that lived amongst the vegetation. I grew up in a vilely haunted house and was never validated. In fact, even in adult life, I was laughed at by relatives for what I had named the [demon] entity that I encountered repeatedly back then. Really? To be made fun of even at this stage… What can I say? I was 3-4 years old at the time and had a very limited earthly vocabulary. It was a name that made sense to me. I remember coming home from Kindergarten once and preparing to take my afternoon nap which was my daily routine. I was chattering away as I got ready for bed and was asked, “Who are you talking to?” I said, “My angel”. This was met with giggling and laughter. Whatever anyone says, Gabriel was as real to me then as he is to me now. It is so unfortunate that my psychic gifts had to be repressed. I buried them deep down because of the humiliation. I denied my authentic self. The only thing I hadn’t buried completely were the premonitions, which I
kept to myself. In high school I was teased too, especially for my lack of party-attitude and refusal to drink alcohol. I have no judgments about others’ choice of drinking alcohol or not, but I personally am repelled by alcohol, including the smell. I
eventually realized that this inborn resistance was pre-designed into my psyche that I might not inject this substance into my body. You see, energy healers must keep their vibrations high in order to channel as much light and healing energy as possible. A healer doesn’t give of his/her own energy; he/she channels it from the Divine. The more clear the channel, the more energy that passes through, and thus the more powerful the healing. Chemical substances such as alcohol inhibit the vibration and cause blockages, thus making healings less effective. I was born with the innate repulsion of alcohol and others substances (including over-the-counter pain medications, etc.) that I might be able to keep my vibration high without feeling deprived of these substances, thus enabling me to be a more clear and present channel –which is my authentic self. I remember feeling so unaccepted in high school. When I was 17, I specifically remember thinking that I was born out of my time.
The hindering of my authentic self in childhood wasn’t just about burying my psychic abilities. I remember sharing once how I was going to be Jeannie when I grew up (from “I Dream of Jeannie”). I was laughed at for that and told it wasn’t a job (i.e., bringing things into reality merely by blinking). Really? I was talking about the instantaneous manifestation of one’s deepest desires (referred to more openly now as the “Law of Attraction”). From the mouth of babes… I always felt compelled as a child that one day I would go out into the world at large. I wasn’t sure what I would do, but I knew I needed to be out there, that I was supposed to be out there; and I mean REALLY out there. I always felt held back, given the feeling that I was too little to be anyone that mattered, that I could never make a difference, that I would never amount to anything. I can’t even pinpoint what gave me these feelings – many small incidents for certain, but it was more I think a telepathic message that I perceived so easily and so continuously. The message was very clearly that I would never be anyone worthwhile, that I was a nobody. In my adult life as I began my own healing process to uncover and unleash my authentic self, I found the exercise complicated. So damaged was I that I could not even ALLOW myself the ability to CONSIDER what I wanted to do with my life. I even remember telling an energy healer that I was working with that it didn’t make any sense to me. I could understand that I might be “afraid”to pursue what I felt my destiny or my joy was, but how could I “not know” what it is. There was threat of punishment in my psyche of even “thinking” about it, about even thinking about what my authentic self is. That is how severe the damage had been. And this is to say nothing of conscious past life memories of being burned or stoned at the stake…repeatedly. Fortunately this last scenario is not an automatic repercussion in this day and age, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to get over, especially when you recognize and encounter firsthand your persecutors from past lives incarnate in this lifetime.
It has been a long journey. Please believe when I say, I understand the trepidation involved in embracing your authentic self and putting your true self out there in the world. It is a process. It is a journey the Universe knew you could handle, that one day we would be here at this moment, on the cusp of a new world vibration, where you would hear the call…and answer… The cost of living a pretend life is great. Not only does it drain you of your precious energy to keep alive the constant façade, you are deprived of your utmost joy. As a way-shower, you must be “real” yourself in order to show the path for others. Those around you, whether conscious of it or not, will sense whether you are pretending or being authentic. If you pretend, they might listen to what you have to say (or read about it, etc.), but they’ll never really buy into it, because at some level they will sense that lack of “realness”, that lack of truth, in your message. If you are authentic, they will be drawn to you like magnets. They will resonate and want to learn/hear more, ultimately learning to embrace their own truth, whatever that is. Letting down your guard puts you at risk for being hurt again. I know. But it also enables you the opportunity to experience true intimacy, a worthy reward. Those special traits about yourself, those gifts that only you possess... These are your path to true happiness and personal greatness, for we can only be our greatest selves when we are our truest authentic selves. Go where the love is. It’s never too late.
You may feel an anger or deep rage surging inside you as you discover that you were forced to bury your true nature and hide your very lovable self from the world. This is understandable and normal. Allow that anger to come to the surface and be released in a healthy manner. Know that those who suppressed your beauty had themselves suppressed their own beauty. They were only doing what they had learned. They weren’t strong enough to break the cycle. But you are. You can break the cycle for yourself and show others the way. It’s your time. You’re being called. Are you hearing that call?
I leave with you one parting thought. If you have read this far, you are a way-shower, and this final message most especially is for you. When I had reached the point of such awareness of my authentic self having been denied and unaccepted, I remember lamenting to Gabriel once. “What was I thinking? Why had I deliberately incarnated into a sphere, an environment, where I most obviously didn’t fit it? I didn’t belong. I don’t belong. I will NEVER belong.” Gabriel’s response… “You were never supposed to.”
Love and blessings,